4/12/20:
Yesterday was Easter and I think it was the most normal day that we have had as a family yet. Even though we were unable to go to our relatives houses we took advantage of the holiday to actually spend time together in one room. This last month we have all been under the same roof, but always in separate rooms. We took the holiday as an excuse to be together in one room and enjoy eachothers company. We laughed a lot and enjoyed our time together. I do not think that we have ever connected so well as a family. I think this time being stuck in our houses is a really good time to take advantage of and grow closer as a family. I know i can work on that by coming out of my room more and I want to start doing that, so that is gonna be a new goal of mine. To come out of my room and start connecting with the rest of my family more.
4/14/20:
My positive happy go lucky mood is gone today. I have stayed in my room since yesterday morning and I have left only one time to feed the dog. My parents keep asking me to come out of my room and I just close the door saying that I have school work to do. This is not true. I finish all my work by twelve or one every day. I still do random projects in my room though to keep me busy. I have been painting a lot and I have gotten pretty good at it. My favorite painting that I have done so far has been a trippy Bart simpson that I painted for my boyfriend. It is very detailed and took almost 3 days to finish because I did not want to mess it up. My art is one project that I have been working on and taking a lot of time. I have also been selling my clothes online and have been doing photoshoots by myself to display and sell the clothes online. I have also decided to start another project. I want to create a collage wall on my bathroom door and i have been on pinterest a lot looking for inspiration and it has been very helpful.
I know i try to do all of these things to keep me busy and distracted from what is going on in the world right now, but it only helps so much. When I lay in bed at night i sit there thinking about how much I miss everyone. I miss my best friends. We have such a close group and they are my family. It is so hard not to be around them all the time because they are such an important part of my life. They understand me better than my parents and brothers. They know the real me because i can be myself around them. I miss them so much and being apart from them so long is painful.
4/17/20:
It is finally Friday. This week has felt so excruciatingly long. It was a very painful week. My mom’s side of the family still lives where I grew up, on the southside of Chicago. Almost all of them were diagnosed with the disease that we have been hiding ourselves from. Covid-19. This whole experience has been so scary and so sad all at once. I am so extremely sad from not being able to see my friends and my mental health is very shaky these days. It is also very scary because as sad as you are and you want to see your friends you are more concerned with your health and the health of others around you. It's a tough situation, but we have to put our physical health above all and stay home. I have definitely struggled a lot with this and working on my self control to not lie to my parents and go see at least one person. I haven’t had a hug in over a month. Not even from my family. To stay happy doctors recommend around five hugs a day. If I haven't had a single hug in the past month that is five times thirty. I need to make up for at least one hundred and fifty hugs. This is me trying to stay positive because when we finally conquer this, it will feel great. To finally be able to see the people you love and mean so much to you. That is what is really getting me through this lockdown, hope.
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